Friday, June 03, 2005

Update. . .

It has been awhile since I've written. I wish I would do this at least every other day. Hayley is now 9 months old and crawling everywhere. The other day I actually had to go look for her after leaving her for less than 2 minutes. Kind of scary how fast these little boogers can get away from you. Tra is doing so well, feeling good, gaining weight and has his hair back. So far his reports are perfect. This time last year we were getting ready to go to Hawaii for a week, I was mongo pregnant with Hayley, Tra was about to find out he had cancer (in July), and not even a year later we have a precious baby girl, Tra has been through major surgery and 7 months of chemo, and we have just found out we are expecting our second sweet baby!! Not much more could go on in a year. I don't think. I hope.

I am still in some shock about being pregnant again. I am so thankful for this huge blessing in our lives and I know God has a plan in place and has known from the beginning of time that I would be pregnant right now. I have a part of my heart that is broken though. I have a list of EIGHT girls that I have been praying a long time for that God would allow them to conceive a child. My name was not on that list. Out of that list, one girl has become pregnant. (praise GOD!!!) I've been praying for her for over a year. One of the girls recently lost triplets, another dear friend gave birth to a precious son only to give him back to the Lord immediately after his birth. Another friend has a one year old and just went through her second miscarriage. The list goes on and on. It's so hard to understand why God works like He does. This just shows me again that He is SOVEREIGN. He can and will give and take away whenever he chooses so that HE will be glorified. I also know that he wants me to rejoice in this precious gift of life that He has given Tra, Hayley and me. He does not want me to spend the next several months pondering on the fact that He decided to give me a baby and not my friends desperately wanting their own. So I will rejoice in the Lord and what He is doing in my life, as well as the lives of my friends and trust that His timing is perfect.

I need to write more often so I don't write such long entries every time I write. : )